June 16, 2005

Fell off the Earth...

Posted by DaveSmith

but I'm back.

Sorry, once in a while, I fall off the Earth.

This one was good because Chris, the guy I subrented my apartment to, said, "I like this place, so I'm not moving" and took my name off the lease. No big deal, but he had a guy with a neckbeard move in who said, "I'll be out in October, so cool your jets -- you can move in then". Which would've been okay, but he wears Richard Simmons shorts (non-sarcastically) and he's apparently not-gay.

I like Chris, and was amused at his weasel behavior, so no hard feelings. They blew me off ("Hello, I'd like my apartment back!") until I said I'd take them to court. It's a pretty good apartment and it's been in the "Smith" name for 10 years. In the Great California Legal Process, Chris and Neckbeard would have to pay my court fees for the honor of losing the case (the rent has always been paid out of my account). I was only going to stiff Neckbeard with that because of his Amish Beard what-all. I'll celebrate getting my apartment back by having a party which you're all invited to. Hopefully, Chris will show up to play banjo. It'll be in about a month. So, I'll say mid-July and I'll post about it later.

Beginning of July, I go camping in Poinsetta, my favorite ghost town in Nevada, and hopefully, I'll ride out to Colorado for a Horizons Unlimited meeting. HU is an overland motorcycle site that's amazingly helpful. I might tag along on the dirtroad route from California to Colorado on my street SR500 because I'm an idiot who had to ride a street bike on dirt in Australia. I blew it by not getting off my ass to make it to mid-America for the motorcycle meeting, and I still need to go to Oregon for a coupla-three weeks working for Doug and his friends. Maybe if I'd done that, I could've bought an old Brit dirt-bike from Doug and ridden that to Colorado.

So I didn't have enough money to buy a pre-1971 bike, which means no Moto Melee for me this year. All I've got is a '79 Yamaha SR500 that needs work, and that there '65 Ducati which is hiding from me in Australia.

Speaking of the Ducati, it's being beaten to death by Bob Brown: Super Genius. He said he'd throw it in the bay, but Bob has a cruel sense of humor and I'm scared he's going to make it run again. So what's next?

I need to ride it to Italy. I want to show up to the Ducati factory and complain that my tank is chipped. I don't think I'll have money to continue rtw until 2006 or mid-2007 (12-18 months) and I need to make it to Isle of Man. I might meet up Doug Lee and Matt Bishop from the South Island, New Zealand to ride up from Argentina heading north to Alaska. They have real bikes, Honda XR400s, so they'd get bored with my slow wandering, but I might show up for part of that.

I went deer hunting with Doug and Matt, but a meth addict in Auckland stole my camera with the pictures from that. I'm also hoping to sell enough plasma to afford riding with Ted Simon in Turkey. Not likely, and if not, hopefully I'll find an old Brit Bike with a sidecar and tag along with Samueljohn for a bit. Of course, I've got the SR500 for that.

So a long way of saying, I'm broke and I don't know what's next. No matter. I've got rent money, I paid a zillion dollars in overdue taxes, and I'll wander around this summer. Tim White gave me a great job where I can leave for random amounts of time. If only it was possible to easily put a sidecar on an oil-in-frame SR500. The ride on the sidecar at Peter Jackson's hanger really makes me want one. Thanks again, Mike Tripae for that ride!

I'll really try to start up with my Perth Adventures on my next post.

Posted by DaveSmith at June 16, 2005 04:00 PM
Comments

Yo Dave- I've got a guy who might let you play on the IoM as pit crew (he's racing a t20 (my personal obsession) in the GP); since I won't likely be making it this year, due to to that Major Hip Surgery Thang... contact me offlist and I'll try to hook youse guys up... ;)

Posted by: Rob NoX at June 16, 2005 12:27 AM

Hey fuggle nuts,,,, I got a couple BSA-Triumph 250s you could try and make something out of. But i doubt one would be reliable enough to ride back to calif.. Im telling you,,a URAL with sidecar would be perfect. Even you could maintain it.
Heres another idea. Come up around July 15th, The international Norton Wankers association is having their NATIONAL rally in southern Oregon at lake Selmac, Sir Edward and I will bethere in theluxury motorhome with 20ft trailer Come and annoy the prats and arrogant bastards. See the Nor cal Norton website for details. In the meantime.. been a lot of mountain lion sightings around here lately..Linda tried to run one down with her car the other night (explain that to the insurance company) so how do you feel about camping outside in a tent??

Posted by: doug at June 16, 2005 12:40 AM

Ohh i almost forgot. the Norton wankers are pathetic as they are likely to only get 170 to 250 for a national rally, pretty piss poor organizing, However the local ABATE folks mange a few thousand for their local runs and those arent even nationals. we have Run21 coming up right after the Norton national and its as you might guess,,,,over 21 in nature...lotsa drinking and strippers,,,,lots of strippers So tell me,, ever been to a REAL biker run?? Where the outlaw patch clubs force the bands to take speed so they play all night and threaten to shoot them if they stop playing?? It can be entertaining..

Posted by: Doug at June 16, 2005 12:45 AM

so you think you want an old brit bike with a sidecar? i've got TWO for sale: a 1939 BSA WM20 and a 1952 Ariel SQ4 MKI. the Beesa is a 500cc side-valve single with a steel bodied hack. it runs very strong. slow, but steady. the Ariel runs well, but needs front brake and electrical work. it has a Dusting rig attached. Here's the ironic part: i had both of these rigs shipped from Oz to MA 2 years ago! yes, both rigs are left side mounted. i'll entertain serious offers over 7.5K for the BSA and 9K for the Ariel. i still have the shipping containers. so much for shameless self promotion. if i were you, i'd stick with the sr500 for now, and just be happy to have my knees in the breeze. remember; the best bike to own is the one you have right now.... until you can afford something else. Bob

Posted by: bob b at June 16, 2005 04:19 AM

yeh, I don't know how cool I'm gonna be with a party dude. I might take your name off the lease when you take off on one these bike rides.

Posted by: Skipper at June 16, 2005 09:23 AM

In Chris's defense...he was acting on behalf of the rest of the tenants in the house. Dave's sublease to Chris and Jaqueline when he left was an ILLEGAL sublease. The landlord knew nothing about Dave leaving and showed up on New Years Day wanting to speak with Dave. He knew something was going on and wanted to make sure that EVERYONE that was living in the house (Including Troy..) was on the lease. This was back when Dave was telling everyone he was going to be gone until 2007 at the very least.

Chris didn't boot you out of the lease because he decided that he just LOVED the house and didn't want you living there anymore. In fact, I don't recall ever hearing Chris say: "I took Dave off the lease". We were all in danger of getting kicked out for covering your ass. He HAD to take over.

Why do you always tell the half truth about things Dave? Y'know...the bad part that will win people over and make you look like the you're the good guy.

I seriously doubt Chris will show up at your party to play banjo...seeing as you've been threatening to sue him over this entire ordeal.

Posted by: Sarah at June 16, 2005 12:46 PM

DAVE SMITH IS A PREGNANT RETARD!

Posted by: at June 16, 2005 01:32 PM

HAHA!

Posted by: at June 16, 2005 02:27 PM

Ah, the joy of a jilted ex-girlfriend leaving multiple posts from the same computer. Chris changed the lease and then tried to keep me from moving back in. I called the landlord and he booted them for changing my lease.

Nothing to cover up, but if she did think they were "covering my ass", thanks for the sentiment, but it was misguided. And I was pretty vocal about my prediction that I'd run out of money in New Zealand. I told Chris in April, I'd be back after Japan.

Sincerely,
Dave Smith (the pregnant retard)

Posted by: Dave Smith at June 16, 2005 03:00 PM

How many times did you re-write that! OOO-WEE! You're really getting me where I live now! Good thing you're moving in downstairs!

Best Wishes!

Posted by: Sarah at June 16, 2005 03:50 PM

Oh, please ex-girlfriend! What is it you don't get about EX!

Posted by: at June 16, 2005 06:10 PM

Hey Dave--
Got a slack job well good fer ya!!!After ya left we started rentin` rooms to wanderin gaijins.The first folks were from the UK.One was welsh and Japanese...Old Man Maki was so happy he filled him full of sake and he passed out half way in the street and half way in our store(with a full glass of sake in his hand)!!!Well they were so thrilled with the service they bought us cake the next day out of appricatin`.I hope no hard feelins` towards folks over in sactoeland with the apartment..hopefully chris isn`t homeless and got some new digs..Over here my students are asking about you and when you will return...As for my kid he came out more white monkey than yellow monkey but a little of that and this..Kinda like a combo meal a little bit of everything...---and Chikae actually speaks english to Taiyo Avraham..there`s a link to a photo of him on my name...

Posted by: Jay at June 18, 2005 03:14 AM

Ha, this is fun. Who's next?
I wish I could play the banjo.

Posted by: Dr. Biggles at June 20, 2005 12:30 PM

mmmm neck-beard... i think i gotta rub one out

Posted by: hahaha at June 20, 2005 10:23 PM

Dave Smith is full of bull shit lies!

Posted by: at June 21, 2005 08:22 PM

Dave Smith is full of many things--cheap booze; perscription drugs that are, tragically, not his; smart alecky remarks; pointedly opinionated comments--but he's not a liar. Jesus Ker-ist! You can tell him his viewpoint is effed up but enough with the liar, liar pants on fire crap! It bugs.

Posted by: one o' Dave's seesters at June 21, 2005 09:45 PM

Its not a lie if you think you are correct.

Posted by: at June 22, 2005 10:50 AM

Dave-
it seems every june my right big toe swells up and causes extreme pain.Today it got to be too much and i went to the Doctor.He was right around the corner 1 doctor with 15 nurses.He gave that "ummmmm" kinda distressed sound in japanese and clipped my toe nail to get a closer look.He told Chikae that big toe is sick and infected.Then 4 out of 15 nurses bandaged and put medicine on my toe stat!He gave me painkillers and other meds---it was hella cheap $15.00 for the visit and the meds.I wondered how he can pay the 15 nurses....The painkillers we`re groovy...one knocked me out for 7 hours...In the states would of been tad pricy and maybe a nurse here or there...Before i went to the doc i thought humidity and heat was the culprit and the cure was whiskey..but that`s a tad pricy here in nippon...Nippon beat Greece in the soccer match and people we`re little nicer to me this week...i got a haircut...the med is talking...Fried rice sounds nice...jay

Posted by: Jay at June 24, 2005 02:59 AM

Jay, read up on "gout" and skip the meds.

Posted by: at June 24, 2005 12:23 PM

pretty amazin` a night of painkillers with some shoo chuu and a japanese drunk at the absinthe bar singin yngwie malmsteen did wonders.The toe shrunk and is semi painful...By the time i reached the absinthe bar i was in dream land...on the way home i was approached with a "massage"--which sounded like massa jay...But i was pretty placid would been of no use..Ya i probably have gout and gout comes by to say "hi-every june"..the Toe been broken several times...Dave kumamoto and benimaru miss you..They keep askin "where dave??"---

Posted by: jay at June 24, 2005 09:01 PM

Yep,gout--i did chemotherapy...That`s one of after effects---remeberin sign`n a release stating i might or not get a gout and whole slew of other stuff like loss of memory..man i thought it was the humid and the heat..I sweat like a busy gaijin english teacher and drink like a fish(shigoto no nomu)..I thought hot/painful toe went with japan.Damme Desu yo,Gout baka!!!Dave i`m going be back in the states to deal with some family stuff.....Can i sublease the couch for a night or so??Then i`ll be san diego to deal with things....

Posted by: jay at June 24, 2005 09:33 PM

dave you might wanna call jermee about italy...

Posted by: girlonthemove at June 25, 2005 02:26 PM

Jay, you can have the couch anytime. And for the liar bit, I should put up the emails I got from the subletter on the front door. The first that says "need to change the lease, but you'll be on the new one" and the "it was easier to not put you on the new lease, we'll start making payments for your deposit". I said in March or April that I was coming back. But anyway, I like Chris, although it doesn't seem like it. But I like my apartment more.

I don't have Jermee's number, so someone email it or call up with it. 916/470-5506.

Posted by: Dave Smith at June 25, 2005 06:26 PM

I'm watching that Jonathan Hair show and I think Dave Smith is far more handsome and perhaps deserving of his own reality-based sitcom.

Hilarity ensues.

Posted by: O Lawless at July 1, 2005 10:08 PM

That Jonathan Hair saga's extreme alright. Dave'd have to get pretty soused to be such a twisted nip. Even then he'd probly just ramble on about some guy's ear hairs and give out the bird with a smirk and grudging "here's what you do," followed up with something erather most folks nod back at and then remind him about later. Good lookings, though, you're right.

Posted by: marletta at July 9, 2005 06:21 PM