October 23, 2004

Lawrence of Arabia's Boner

Posted by DaveSmith

Day 3
Oct. 16, 2004

I celebrate my day with a clean pair of socks and brush my teeth with
beer. I've got the cold part, as warned by the Germans, coming up

I wish I knew people here. I've passed by 2 universities, and I'm
sure there was stuff to do there. But it's not like I have money or
space to go record collecting.

I've spent most of my ride today trying to think of a name for the
bike. Trying to think of a cute Italian heartbreaker name since I
never know when the bike is going to run and if it'll hold up. I've
got an ex-girlfriend that fits that description to a t but I ain't
naming the bike after her.

Calling the bike Bonerjizz came to mind. It's a juvenile parody of
Boanerges, Lawrence of Arabia's name for the Brough Superior
motorcycles he owned. But I don't want to ride a bike called Boner,
although it keeps making me laugh. I'll keep looking.

There's another guy at this rest stop here outside Stanthorpe waiting
by his Land Rover. I'm guessing that rest stops aren't gay pick-up
spots in Australia.

Land Rovers are only somewhat of a Yuppie thing out here, and lots of
cars and trucks have brush guards on the front. Probably because of
the kangaroos. So far today, I've seen 2 dead kangaroos and several
splotches that probably were roos at some point. Lots of 4wd trucks
and SUVs have snorkles. I'm glad I'm passing through in the dry
season. There's a Mini convention go on somewhere around here. Or
maybe Minis are just really popular.

So far the weather is nice. Lots of clouds in the sky, but it hasn't
gotten cold yet. I just used the bathroom at the rest stop and yup,
it's a gay pick-up spot. At least according to the graffiti.

I'm now in Warwick. Brisbane is close but I don't have the contact
info for Gavin, the guy with the Benellis. I'll find an internet cafe
and check in today or tomorrow.

Death smells different out here. Maybe the maggots just put out a
different stench. Flies here are different -- they go straight to the
face and eyes. I asked Marcus the German if the flies where like that
in Europe and he said Australia is the first place he's seen them like
that. It's like watching footage from Africa sometimes. Flies going
straight for the eyes.

I met a punk rocker working at a gas station, but he said Warwick was
too small to have punk rock shows. Everyone in Australia has tattoos
and piercings. It's like living in San Francisco even out in the

I need some sort of punk rock sticker for my helmet. I'll look for
the Black Flag bars in Brisbane. Maybe I can find a Star Trek
insignia too, so I can meet the local geeks.

I rode Cunningham's Gap this afternoon. Top gear at full throttle.
Several downhill miles of lovely S curves. It'd kill most riders on
their bikes. But, on a 250cc built to run shitty gas, a moped
would've swept by me. I don't know how fast my bike is but according
to it's uncalibrated 40 year old speedo, 60 is usually tops.
Occasionally on really steep hills, it shows 80. That's where the
speed wobbles start. Or are about to start, the steering shakes a
bit but it's no knee slapper. And on The Gap, the bike didn't shake.
But it must've been close in the made up way of thinking I'm living my
life with.

Now I'm camped out at a rest stop. There's biting red ants and a dog
piss marked my tent twice. It's also another gay pick up place
according to the graffiti. I'm glad those gay Aussies in the bush
have a place to go. It beats harassing the sheep.

(comments have been closed for this entry)

Posted by DaveSmith at October 23, 2004 04:37 PM

Possible names: I suggest Gegetta (Italian for Gidget) See you in Rome! -Moondoogie

Posted by: Moondoggie at October 24, 2004 12:34 PM

sounds like a nice ride....oh, and i've pissed on the side of your house too!
i'm at your folks pad for Sunday dinner....sophie has a shiner and dinner was better than peanuts, yum, yum. I loved my duc, so will you.

Posted by: alex at October 24, 2004 07:57 PM

dave, the photos are great! Oh yes, I didnt know you could write or are you paying someone to ghost write for you? Keep up the good work.
I road the benelli 50cc today!

Posted by: Pete at October 24, 2004 09:09 PM

Don't you have to stop and hang out to meet people? Get to know the graffiti.

Posted by: Dr. Biggles at October 25, 2004 09:21 AM

Dave- I think you are really still in the states pulling a Capricorn 1 (or whatever that stupid flick was called) moon landing type hoax. Sending pictures of "Austrailian rest-stops" while you are really just riding through central Cali...I can score a NSW licence plate and find a dead wombat anywhere!
Danny B.

Posted by: Danny B. at October 25, 2004 02:48 PM

I heard from Gavin who was visiting here in Albuquerque, I sent him home yesterday evening, that the lads in Brisbane are helping you get the bike properly sorted. Stayed with Ian eh? He's a nice guy....unless you toss his MHR.... Say Hi to Bob Duma for me when you get up to Mackay. It's a long drive up there and watch out where you camp, I'd be far more worried about the Taipan (deadly snakes) than the gays. Don't camp close to the water either, those salt water crocs are a bit nasty too. Good luck. Tom Rolland

Posted by: Tom Rolland at October 25, 2004 03:09 PM

Snakes & Salt Water Crocs, damn man. That's quite a bit different from Sac, this I know. Maybe if you got one of those fancy side cars with a bed ...

Posted by: Dr. Biggles at October 25, 2004 03:51 PM

Well, Dave is full of food, beer and useful,hehehehe, information on travelling Oz. Something I have done for 20 years. the 250 is sorted,and tomorrow we go on our last ride together when I take him up to Gavins. BUT, I am going to go to his house, borrow his bike and then drop it STRAIGHT AWAY.

Posted by: Ian at October 26, 2004 02:49 AM

Yay! Dave got food and beer!!

How do you guys drop each others bikes? Just pick them up and drop them? If they're as small as Dave's that seems pretty easy. But that doesn't sound like a very nice thing to do though. Or does 'drop' mean something else there?

Posted by: deeann at October 26, 2004 04:07 PM

ow... that's why i never let dave drive the crosley. Glad to hear someone's fixed the erl leak, tho.

Posted by: ol' man foster at October 26, 2004 05:00 PM