November 04, 2004

Life in Mackay

Posted by DaveSmith

I love Mackay so much, I've moved into Bevelhead Bob Dumma's house. Sort of.

My tank is pissing fuel to the point where Ramon looked at it and said in my paraphrasing way, "don't touch your horn and the bike shouldn't catch on fire". Not really a joke, small rivers of flamable liquid. I had it tapered off to where it was hardly leaking, but it opened up to a 2 inch crack in the brazing.

So Bob, his wife Jenny and Ramon picked me up off the side of the road and have been sheltering me since. Bob & Jenny's son Brock has been letting me tag along with him while Bob is away at work. Last night we went to an American Graffitti type of thing. People hanging out with their cars. Mostly new stuff, but in Australia people soup up 4 door cars and utes (pick-up trucks). A few old cars where there -- a pretty nice Ford Fairlane 500 maybe 1965, with the steering on the right side. Mostly people were around 20, but I've finally seen cute Australian girls. Only, since they're around 20 that's way too young for me. I like 'em roughly around my age. Give or take 10 years.

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We saw one guy almost get his ass kicked by about 50 people because he told a guy in a wheelchair to "get up and get your own damned drink" at a party earlier this week. He followed that up with a racial comment (not about the wheelchair guy) ensuring his Number 1 place at the local popularity party.

Speaking of things with big mouths, I spend a lot of time sitting out front reading old motorcycle books and watch drunk parrots bother the other birds. Lots of tiny green and red, small, drunk, cocky, mouthy birds annoying all the other birds, both big and small, until the other birds walk away in disgust. If only parrots could hold a bass, No Kill I wouldn't notice I was gone.

Pissed as a parrot, is a local cliche. Crazy drunk birds.

This is just a short note letting people know I'm still alive and that Bush winning should make it a fun next 4 years in the States. My next entry should detail the cost of the bike and assorted problems that this entry was supposed to cover. And how I got my eye dotted. I believe it was Oct. 30th at 9:30am so if anyone put money on that, collect.

Other bits: I really should try asking local cute girls if I can take nekkid pictures of them. That should go over quite wonderfully. I'll send pictures to be posted once I get a good internet connection.

They drink cans of rum and coke up here instead of beer (although there's still plenty of beer drinking). I've been trying to fit in, but I need to start adding some more rum. Drinking at the Mercantile spoiled me -- I like strong drinks, not strong men. For the 90% who don't know what I'm talking about, the Merc is a gay bar right by my apartment in Sacramento that serves the stiffest drinks of any bar I've been in (which is quite a few). When you go there with a girl and she needs to take a leak, the bathroom needs to be checked out to make sure guys aren't having sex in there.

Hey Lurch & DeeAnn, yup, it's a Ducati 250cc, so you got that right. Australia is pretty neat (although you can't buy booze after 11pm if I understand correctly). I don't know if they still let foreigners move here.

Doug, I can drop your bike only if you have any super rare ones. The MHR 1000cc was around 1 of 800. And I'm guessing your bikes would have rear drum brakes, so I shouldn't have any problems. I hope to get bits of info from the locals. I've gotten some but it's mostly "Bush is a nutcase" which doesn't help much. I'm supposed to hang out with Ramone tonight, so maybe he'll have neat stuff to say. He rides a green frame Ducati Super Sport 750 around like a tour bike. He bought it new. Maybe if I return to the US and start touring in a Jaguar D-type...

Thanks for the donations, Jay and Amy. I'll probably spend the money on fuel and food since I don't have much room on the bike for anything else. But I'll sing Convoy out loud. It's the best movie that hack Peckinpah ever made (joke, that's just a joke).

Posted by DaveSmith at November 4, 2004 11:24 PM

Okay good you are still alive. Okay from an experienced picture takin-holic, heres what seems to be the order of priorities from the peanut gallery. #1 Nekkid cute Aussie girls, #2 Weird people #3 Dead roadkill #4 political commentary from aliens and foreigners as well as i suspect a huge amount of soon to be american Expatriates. I have a book here called flattened fauna, a motorists guide to roadkill, I bought it at Powells in Portland,perhaps you can provide a running commentary from country to country about what the travellor would see and why the flattened creature crossed the road. As far as helping wreck my bikes,, ill try and have something worthy of crashing by the time you are avail for shop slave duty. HD Smokey posted plans on the chop shop list on a great in home liquor still so i should have some good hooch soon, donmt tell the revenuers! BTW,, if i sned you money can you mail me Australina versions of playboy?? Each country actually has their own versions, I already have german and Turkish versions,, Maybe this could be a lucrative racket.

Posted by: Doug at November 5, 2004 01:08 AM

Hmmm, pictures eh? I have my own list of priorities. #1 would be Nekkid cute Aussie girls, #2 would be Nekkid cute Aussie women, #3 would be a combination of both, if possible. #4 would be pictures of roasting meat, meat on a plate, meat on a plate next to refreshing beverages and maybe #5 would go nice with all that and sharp knives or related implements. On plates with nekkid Aussie women. If that isn't going to work out, guys screwing in roadside bathrooms will do.


Posted by: Dr. Biggles at November 5, 2004 02:10 PM

Just talked to Pop a few mins ago...his legal b'day is today (but mite 'a been on the 3rd, he sez). I only talked to him for a bit then Cary & Kellye took over the phone and.....well, you know how that the rate you're going, it sounds like you're about to become an expert on '65 Duc' you miss your little Honda sumtimes....take care,

Posted by: The Old Man at November 5, 2004 05:17 PM should have kept the GB500-TT....mine is still looking great and performing well with NO fuel leaks :-)...good to see that you are still around...for the listeners in the US of A...the Aussi girls are not necessary that good....I have lived here for 16 should see the KIWI girls...they do NOT have a fat arse etc...road kill in New Zealand consists of opossoms and the ocasional rabit...Dave should be able to help you out there:-)

Posted by: Brendan at November 6, 2004 02:30 AM

Those little parrots you described sound an awful lot like someone we all know...

Posted by: heather r. mike at November 8, 2004 01:27 PM